


i just wanna feel normal for tonight.

by marciscaspar



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Angst, Angst No Comoft, M/M, Multi, Song fic, Thats just what I write: angst, elu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-29 16:38:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20799701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marciscaspar/pseuds/marciscaspar
Summary: Song fic based on Normal by Sasha Sloan——So, Lucas closes his eyes, listening to the shitty song he doesn’t like, moves backwards until he knows he can’t see Eliott and kiss this stranger until he feels okay.





	i just wanna feel normal for tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> i get inspired at random times whoops
> 
> *not edited whoops*

Lucas stares at the two as they dance next to each other, his hands around his waist, his hands carefully behind his neck; close. They’re so close.

Maybe if Lucas gets himself drunk enough, maybe if he gets enough vodka into his system, he can get his mind to pretend that he was that close. Or, convince himself that he doesn’t want to be that close to him. If he drinks enough, maybe his heart won’t want to be that close to Eliott.

Eliott has always been someone who loves, some could argue loves too much, but Lucas would always argue that it’s not too much, that it’s beautiful and endearing. Actually, he does, defending Eliott’s over enthusiastic kindness and love. 

But, now, as Lucas is forced to watch Eliott love so clearly in front of him, with his arms wrapped around a boy who Lucas shouldn’t hate but does, with a shitty, overplayed song that he doesn’t like in the background, and so many flashing colors, Lucas somewhat hates himself for defending Eliott. Eliott does love a lot, and although he still would defend him, it hurts Lucas, because here he is, watching Eliott’s wide smile and kind eyes stare down at the boy with blonde hair and green eyes and Lucas feels his head spin and his lungs compress and—

He takes a swing of vodka. It burns down his throat, but at least it’s distracting. 

Maybe for one night, Lucas can pull himself away from watching Eliott love someone else that isn’t him. Maybe for one night, Lucas can allow himself to kiss and be kissed by a random stranger. Maybe for one night, his body will move in vigorous and random motions that hopefully resemble dancing. Maybe for one night, Lucas won’t feel suffocated by watching Eliott wrap his arms around someone. 

“How much are you gonna drink?” He turns around and finds himself staring at a guy with tan skin and black hair, taller than him, looking down at Lucas with brown eyes. That’ll do.

“Enough.” He slurs this, turning his body towards the man in a sluggish motion, and he takes a sip from the bottle before staring at the stranger with his lips pressed against the glass neck. The stranger smiles down at him, with an eyebrow cocked in amusement. 

“Enough? Okay. Cool.” The stranger licks his lips once, and Lucas already knows what’s going through his head. He understands, this is a party, people drink, people make out and fuck. Maybe, Lucas can allow himself to do the same. 

“Do you wanna kiss me.” He doesn’t ask this in a question, it’s a statement, one that surprises the stranger, which it shouldn’t. Lucas knows he’s been thinking about it, so he doesn’t understand why he looks so taken aback. Whatever.

“Oh, wow, okay.” The stranger smiles coyly, and then all of a sudden, Lucas feels fingers snake up his sides, and then hands wrap around his waist, and he allows himself to be pulled in. He feels a hot breath ghost his forehead, then nose, and then a new breath on his lips. It’s hot, but to Lucas it feels cold. All of him feels cold, and maybe it’s because this isn’t what he wants, this isn’t him, but he doesn’t care. At least, he’s gonna act like he doesn’t care. 

  
  


Lucas pulls back for a second, and before the stranger can be confused, Lucas takes a swing of vodka, and then that same hand wraps itself around the neck of the stranger and pulls him in. They’re kissing, lips to lips, noses pressed together, and Lucas tilts his jaw to gain better access. The guy tastes like cheap tequila and mint, and Lucas has never felt so cold and lifeless.

  
  


He keeps kissing the guy, moving his head when his neck starts to hurt, moving his left hand up and down the strangers back when he deems necessary, and just kisses him. He goes through the motions of kissing, really, but none of his heart is there. The mans lips are chapped, and Lucas doesn’t really feel any pleasure from their exchange of motions, his stimulated nerve endings doing nothing for his overall psyche and heart. He’s just doing this because he has to.

Because when he turns around, tilts his head in the right direction, and looks over the strangers shoulder, he can see him and his arms wrapped around the same boy.

He doesn’t like this song, he doesn’t really like this guy, he’s drinking too much tonight, this isn’t like him, he’s just acting like he doesn’t like care, and he wants to go home. But, all of this numbness feels better than watching Eliott. Eliott, with his arms around another boy, dancing with their foreheads pressed together, and looking so...whatever. Lucas doesn’t even try to decipher Eliott’s face anymore. Lucas doesn’t want to feel hurt or broken tonight, he doesn’t want to feel the wrenching of his heart tonight; no, he just wants to feel normal for tonight.

So, Lucas closes his eyes, listening to the shitty song he doesn’t like, moves backwards until he knows he can’t see Eliott and kiss this stranger until he feels okay.

Lucas pulls back, takes another swing of vodka, and duly kisses the guy in front of him.

He doesn’t even notice Eliott staring back at him that night.


End file.
